One of the techniques in my workshop that always gets an array of responses is the masculine boundary setting energy. It is no secret that we all have difficulty in saying “No” in certain circumstances without anger usually because we’re overwhelmed. And yet, I am still surprised that so many accomplished men and women I meet have difficulty in setting boundaries. If you can’t be comfortable saying no in a safe, open space, how will you say no when you are pressurized, intimidated and scared? Embracing our adolescent masculinity is essential for self-development. It comes as such a relief for students to find a place of absolutism and clarity in themselves. Having permission to be in one’s healthy masculine energy is empowering and holistic.
You have to say fully No before you can say fully Yes
When I worked with children, if I was not completely clear, they would spend the next hour trying to get what they wanted. Children are generally awake and in the moment and see this interaction as a game in which they learn subtle, undercurrent messages that we take for granted as adults. Sometimes, it was fun to relate to them at this level of play however, at other times it was essential for me to develop clear boundary setting skills to keep them safe. To paraphrase Super Nanny; children do not feel safe if adults around them don’t set boundaries.
What about setting boundaries for adults? What about in interactions with authority figures, our friends or lovers? If you say a lot of sort-of yes’s then you are never fully saying YES. It is like leaving half of your soul out of the experience. I feel there are two options at this point; 1) We need to learn to trust our instincts so that we can take a leap of faith if we are not sure. Even if we make a mistake, we will learn to discriminate our instincts more. Or 2) Become clear and attuned to our sense of “yes” and our sense of “no” so that we build confidence in our Selves, in our Soul. There is a deep sense of peace that accompanies you when you let go of your doubts. As the great sage Maharishi said,
When asked if his existence contributes to the health of the U.S. president, he said:
Yes! With No Doubt, No Shame and No Failure
This is a state of Enlightenment and Attunement. His clarity about himself and his influence is not idle. It is based upon a deep knowing of the Self, which is ultimately knowing Oneness. Knowing The Absolute Divine Self, God, Goddess, the Greater Intelligence, The Mystery, whatever you relate to.
So when you are unsure in your next decision, attune your self to your Absolute Divine Self and let go of any doubt. Becoming intimate with this part of yourself gives you a firm place to stand and ultimately, peace. Confidence in your self expression is a great gift to others around you.
This is one of 20 techniques in The Center Point course of the Holistic Integrated Health Courses.
To learn more about Lucy or the Workshop go to www.integratedhealthcourse.com/courses