“I didn’t quite understand what she meant. Impatient with my musing
silence, she suddenly sat forward in her chair, opened her legs and
began playing an imaginary cello. Her long, powerful fingers vibrated
on the imaginary finger-board and her fine-boned arm danced fiercely
with the imaginary bow. She glanced up from her playing, fire radiating
from her eyes.
“Can you imagine,” she asked “what it’s like to have Wagner coming
through your vagina, up through your body, into your heart, into your
head and into your soul, night after night?”
In this excerpt the analysand is describing the new energy that has emerged out of the personal work she’s been doing. I love this description of her experience, it’s so visceral and potent. This is a great example of a voiced, empowered individual who has moved into a new way of experiencing life. The analysand is a cello player who has questioned and stepped outside her known boundaries into the mystery of the moment. Her previously held blockages of emotion have been unstuck in her body and the result is too much energy than she knows what to do with.
But what does this have to do with masculinity in women? Firstly, when I talk about masculinity, I’m talking about the ability to be voiced, clear and moving forward with integrity and your firm, personal foundation. The book that this excerpt comes from is a book that I re-read the same 4 pages for 5 years before I could understand what it meant. I learned that when you don’t fear your shadow side, you become empowered because you are not losing energy to controlling your fears. You build self-confidence in your ability to go and slay your inner demons. When you can slay your own demons, you won’t put up with anyone else’s because you’ve pretty much faced your biggest fears. This is like power juice for me. Once you’ve got excess energy, you begin to be creative in your life. This creativity can come out in a million ways, how you talk to people, how you dress, even how you walk.
This book is a psychological roadmap for women to heal their inner masculine. There’s tons in there for men, too. When I attended a weekend workshop with Marion Woodman 5 years ago at UBC, it had a powerful effect on me. But that’s another post…
She doesn’t travel much now so if you ever get the chance to hear her speak, I encourage you to take it. This book explores masculinity in women from a Jungian perspective and is a transformative read.
Too much spirit indeed!